Friday, December 28, 2012

FUNnecessary

In the military I never bonded with the fellow men & women. My position was was better than many other shitholes in the organization but did not provide any belonging. When the unit was disassembled we made a casual gathering, with the commanders, drinking and feasting before each of us was to be reassigned. At the circle where everyone lied about how good was the time spent together and faking a nostalgic future in which they'd miss all the rest, I chose to lay out some of the shit we endured thanks to our commanders and among ourselves.
Well, I did so at least till I was ordered to cease, so the circle could happily carry on.
A few good selected associates revealed to me later on their admiration of my move.

End of my Bachelor's degree I wrote my Manifesto complaining about a large amount of nonsense that the academic method had us encountering. There was just way too much shit not to be let out shining. I enjoyed being a student, just did not care for the studying part as much. Making fun of the degree and receiving fellow students' identifications felt more belonging than actually participating as a student.


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AMSTERDAM 2012

A cute young couple I've hosted half a year ago had told me how they walked the streets as some artists called them come up to their house party. I wondered how people get to such an occasion and wished myself to be invited.
For Xmas I was invited to a party by being on the Project Goleb residents list. The flat was 2nd floor wish a good view of A'dam's quite nearly central side. It held a bunch of artists and associated fun-seekers who did not bother to spend the holiday at their families' homes/countries. A few Bulgarians, several Greeks, a Scot man, a Gerry n' me'self. A few dishes, several wines, a bottle of vodka, a beer & the good herbs.

After sitting down had its time, the table was rotated and more space was "anschluss"ed to the elegantly rugged living room. Youtube supplied the music market and the dominant demand (or joyful concurrence) was old pop theme. We were dancing to songs like I WANT CANDY (Bow wow wow), Maria Magdalena (Sandra) and One Way Ticket (Eruption). Bringing up heaps of memories of times I never remembered, celebrating a holiday I never grew up on.
Beyond the fog of the Tobacco and the humidity of Alcohol, the major fun particle - which, even though rarely, I have tried - came to be MDMA. A baggie of fun loving powder rounded its way in the fun living room.
We all have a blast, dancing gay and smiling like apes on mushrooms.
In the funky ambiance I met so many cool people that inspirited me with art thirst. I had that old latent wish accomplished. I even came up with some funny stupid ideas which were appreciated, like a sign "Merry Greece-mess" or a joint put into Jesus' statue's hand, as some took photos of these.

The party lasted all night, and since night in winter Noord-Holland is very long, only a bit after dawn at about 8:30 I lied to sleep on the couch. The other left-overs carried on the good mood as we woke up and one said that I am now a part of the family, after I've lived through the night with them.
Yet, eventually these are all random acquaintances, fellow foreigners in this sweet exile I am not sure I belong to.

This is the negative side of that sort of FUN. It leaves you with memories of good harmony and illusions that these may last longer than the night of acquainting. Guess in a culture where casual sex is approved, casual fun is just as much encouraged. Nevertheless, it is the falsity that bothers me, the miscalculated motives that make someone totally agree that "we should hang out more and investigate more together" yet we are not likely to do so in the common reality. This misleading enthusiasm is unnecessary.

In a party in Ruigoord I met a grown man who shared some weed and stories with me, he was really interested in Israel/Middle East and in Hebrew. He gave me his phone number so we can exchange language teachings and I was satisfied to meet the man. I forgot my motivation to learn Dutch for a bit but about a week and a half or two later I tried to reach him - call, SMS, nothing. Where did Mr. Armand go ? Did his passion for Hebrew vanish?

Back on the good side, on that same Ruigoord party I met a nice young girl who lives in Breda and cared to keep in touch by sending mails. She disliked the cyber communication so she gave me her house address. I sent her a mail once I got to it, and she liked it enough to send back a couple of times.
So sometimes the encounter endures, as far as the Pythons sing on the cross: Always look on the bright side of life!
Just don't get blinded. 
blindness leads to expectations. expectations may cause bitterness. bitterness can facilitate blog~writing!






"Every Thing Goes"

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