AmsTelAviv

22-April
In a show of Louisa, a local band at the Rotschild12 pub, I heard the words for a song "Tofes Machase" (getting to shelter) as "Tofes machar sex" (getting sex tomorrow)
Being that I am finally dating a girl from a dating-site tomorrow, I was amused.
Also, since she and another girl I had frienDated from that website (she was seeing someone at the time already) who are both Russian, I came up with a phrase:

changing the proverb "Lehakdim Trufa la'maka" (doing an act before something requiring future reaction) to "Lehakdim trufa la'paka" (paka being used as "bye" in Russian, being the first to say BYE while the Russian date seems to get going)

For people who are aware of what is dumpsterdiving, I came up with a concept (probably pre-conceived by others)  -  partydiving: getting in places and knowing ways to enjoy a night out without having to pay for it. so far, this one pub with shows is a rocking location for the becoming list.

^\/^
Last week a thought about caring a weapon came to my mind. I thought about living in the southern part of Tel Aviv as it sometimes dangerous and therefore residents should be allowed to carry weapons if they will, like Settlers do.
About an hour or two later comes a phone call - my CV reached a jobbie as a security man. I did not even remember applying for it while throwing the CV in many directions but I am seeking a role I can do in shifts while being a student comes October.
I went to the interview and was already shown the security posts of the location. Since the Security Commander had to see me, not only the duty manager of the company I'd be signing to, an appointment was made for today. It resulted in a good conversation with the company's main manager and a fair impression made on the crude yet nice Commander. Regardless of the curiosity of possibly receiving a gun license unexpectedly, I was so thrilled - can it be said the first rock has been removed from my chest?

I later went to Mitka, the incredibly gifted with good energies performer friend, another mate of hers joined us in order to make a technical trio (I'd be the video-shooter, he'd be the editor). As he came in he recognized me. 
It took me a while, only when he reminded me the exact event we were talking in, I remembered his sweet essence from that moment, about 7 years back, lost in my mind. I had a good feeling about this incidence. We smoked a bit green and spread out. I was feeling too cheerful to be locked in the room I am staying in.

Oh yeah - the room. for a homeless looking for a place (a major rock on my Tel Avivian chest) I got a pretty lucky deal with my friend giving me the key to her room in Sheinkin / Echad Ha'am (Thank you Zahavit) for her time in Czechoslovakia. Her flight was cancelled due to a strike in El-Al which in turn extended my staying here.
Meanwhile the apt I saw for me and Myrthe (and her cat) to rent is on hold. The owner might be selling so we shall not sign a leasing contract. I really had a good feeling about that place. Not only its great location and non-frightening rent, there was even a cat entering the flat the first time I went to view it, as if sent to present the invitation of cat-ness to the realm. An alluring coincidence or merely a risky illusion of faith?

So I walk around Rotschild avenue, being presently so close to where I stay, with the aim of joining Tali who was said to be out in a restaurant called Mozes. I remembered a night a few years back I was walking the avenue and saw a bunch gathered to play chess in the mid of it in the mid of the night. I was deeply impressed with the joyous option of playing chess with fellow night-crawlers. This time I noted a few groups of grown ups playing Pétanque. knowing less than nothing about this refreshing game I asked a guy to explain to me what it is about. I was marveled at his skill even-though I was not sure what the rules were.
Having a profoundly nice occasional direct communication with the unacquainted night-training player had left me smiled up.. 

Refueled with sublimity I went on to Mozes. Tali had not answered whether she's arrived and seated in but I did not wish to wait outside and dared entering alone. A familiar face from the past arose out of a party o'six near the entrance stairs. An old colleague of University time was thrilled to see me, as I was with him.
"I just had a few drinks" (he admitted regarding his enthusiasm).
"That's cool, I just had a joint" (and so did I).
A small tiny talk led to say he is a CEO of his advertisement agency, while these were his employees he had a fine night out with.
He took my number and said he'd call me he'd call me in a day or two. I have no idea how serious his words were to be taken, but it was so sweet to tackle with him just like that. If there's one thing I adore about being in Israel is to feel familiar, recognized, every now and sudden, in this small land. If there's another thing I am allowed to adore is the cHummus!

Furtherly encouraged by this small occurrence of event, I carried on to meet Tali and her roomie. They had already entered the pub mentioned above and I joined their position outside , smoking back-alley. There she rolled a cigarette and asked a couple of gentlemen for a lighter. I then asked one for a filter and he asked if we need him to fix us with anything else.
I joked around saying "some green" (weed) and then added with a surprisingly serious tone "oh, and a flat for two roommates" to which he responded with "I can get a lead, on both issues". We exchanged phone numbers and let's see if the other rock is also gonna be removed soon! or if it was a delusional Fata Morgana. 
The show itself ignited my old-rock-affiliation and enlightened my fun-seeking spirit. 
At least one thing should be re-said : God gave Rock n Roll to ya!

Such a great evening to get my mind off the stress of getting by, reminding me why I wanna live in the city and to start believing there was a good reason coming to Israel & Tel Aviv

Films

All (excluding first two) are thanked to Jeffery

La Haine / ´Hate´ (FR)
  3 guys (arab, african, jew) from a slum dealing with the police which forces them to turn to hate, with society that could not care less about them; supposedly good guys locked in characters that amount to no good, trying to live the best a low life could. Tension between friends, between individuals and the overlooking system; They manoeuvre their choices within circumstances that chase down their options. What does one - or three - do when there´s not much to do ? A stylish film that makes you love the kind of grown punks you would not usually afford to love.

Intouchables (FR)
  An unlikely assistant of a disabled wealthy man brings in joy to his rich but dull life style. They teach and learn from one another to be more daring and wild, and use what they got to succeed in their personal growth. Two different lives enriched by their mixture, somewhat chaotic, sometimes too straight, most of all fun is what they create. The film proves connections with others may significantly assist one connecting with himself. A chilled drama that makes you smile.

Fear Eats the Soul (DE)
   A German widower meets a Moroccan work-immigrant in 70s Munich. He is young and handsome, she´s old and boring. He is far from being integrated, she is submerged in an endless routine. Through their different classes, the film puts the casual cards of prejudices on the table, shows how people react according to norms before learning to achieve more acceptability.
Watching this film should raise awareness to how we (should) treat our neighbours, family, friends and strangers. It proves that actions of classism (categorizing) occur and cease according to various needs, and that dysfunctional normality is sometimes better changed.
A low budget minimal film, shot in the duration of two weeks.

Jonah will be 25 in the year 2000 ((Swiss) FR)
   An excellent film that takes several different charaters who believe the world should be slightly more thoughtful, friendly and inspiring, and try to make it better and together. It is about simple lives who refuse to be forced into despair, who persist on being kind and manifest their personal style. It is highly recommended to any viewer who sees reality slipping away from the dream it should have been.

Cutter´s Way (EN)
   In this one, dreams are already long gone and the only little bit in life worth saving is decency. 2 friends, a cynic Vietnam veteran and an unlikely hero fight their own indifference in order to fight injustice which was accidentally witnessed. The act was made by a person of the kind that always gets away (a man of wealth and fame). Entwined in the story is the wife of the veteran, who is a possible lover of the friend, who try to handle life surviving the bitterness of her drunken husband.
This might pose as a darkened early version of Big Lebowski, in terms of a small civilian put unwillingly against a big capable persona. For anyone who is tired of the despairing way of the system´s key-holders to get away.

Altered States (EN)   Inspired by the research of a famous real scientist, this film is about the effort to discover a different kind of a bigger truth. A scientist gathers his colleagues and position to reach higher states of consciousness that would reveal a wild prime force of nature. The sensational trip changes what he could know about life and creation before and his curiosity draws him to dig further and deeper in his eccentric method of experiment.
Quite surreal, it is interesting to feel the drama taken to the realm of (supposedly )scientific investigation, to the irreconcilable pursue of the beyond. Recommended to -but not only to- anyone who ever went to see further.

La planète sauvage / ´Fantastic Planet´ (FR)

   A great horrific old animated classic sci-fi, a collaboration between
Czechoslovakia and France from 1973. The Om race is what could be conceived as humans, a very small powerless creature compared to the Draags, the mastering blue Übermensch of that planet. Their high intelligence evolved into a magnificent culture which perceives the Oms as either cute tiny pets to be played with or wild nasty little pests worth of annihilation.
With distinct images that feel like recognizable historical features, this totally surrealistically illustrated film gives you shivers as well as sniggers.

Le feu follet / ´The Fire Within´ (FR)
   Pursuant to my tendency to this matter, this is my personal favourite in the list: The same way Altered States is about tripping, this film is about depression. Its maker´s friend who committed suicide was the basis of this slow sorrowful journey of a decaying heart. The main character is an amicable person who lost touch of everything that is life. His associates wish him to let go of his melancholic intuition, to step out of his distress he is so immersed in, but it seems improbable for him there is a chance for a real hold of himself in this world.
The film being black and white and in French only adds up to the gentle fragility imposed on the viewer. Detachment was hardly as touching as in this one.

Eternal sunshine of the pot-head mind

December. I moved to the cozy studio apartment. A fresh beginning of being happily locked for a month, being busy with my supposed Munchies at Tiffany's period. It was meant to be dedicated to writing the story of my former love.

I had to re-motivate my writing process by buying a new typewriter (laptop). Rather than sorting it out on the first week, it was pushed (I pushed it) to the second week. Yet, I have accomplished setting up a chill-out mattress zone next to the radiator and have placed my selected printed photos of South Africa on the wall.

The rest of the week = the weekend, was a Thursday-to-Sunday hang out time. Very much fun, Very not productive.

Sometimes it strikes me I am immobile. I can only move by being moved. I had to use Nat to get me going on searching for laptops. She's a student (thus laptops-oriented), she knows Dutch and she's a friend. She's also a girl so I wished her advice about cloths. We met at the city center and headed to the Spui. At the square we saw a bunch of colorfully dressed youngsters waiting for a sign to go applauding and cheering and jumping as a person comes out of a booth that said "TELEPORTER" on it. I was ardent and took a shot of it.
A few hours later, after having been at the American Book Center, several computer shops on Centuirbaan and one pizza place on the way home, I realized I do not have my camera as I spotted a building i wanted to photograph for being well lit and decorated for Xmas.

How could I have been so lame? Am I smoking up too much lately? I always smoke and I never lose anything. It's that Teleporter, shifted my camera.

Back at the studio we smoke a bit and check online for laptops. so many questions i do not know to weigh: Should I buy online or go to a store? which store? which kind of laptop? If to order it online - which website? a local Dutch one or a cheaper one abroad?
It is questions like that, rather than smoking pot, that burn my brain.

We focused on two items (mainly one) online and called it a night with movie&popcorn.

The next day I go back to the American Book store but did not find my camera. Almost lost on top of it a glove I just bought the other day since I lost my right hand glove recently.
An officer at the police station guided me to seek at the Lost & Found , and there I was told I do not need to come in, just to phone and ask if the model of my camera was received. I am not even sure which manufacturer my digicam was. I withdraw and go back home. The more I try to hold on the hope it will be returned, the more I linger in the loss.
I was expecting my friend or my CouchSurfing guest would come but I am home alone. The only plan I had was to view laptops online and go to see a free movie screening. The laptop I want is not delivered to The Netherlands.
I use the time to wash my cloths. The machine breaks down in the middle of my laundry and it is all soaked. I try to squeeze it and dry it somehow. I am already about to be late for a film screening, I just wanna get to my bike and leave this day behind me. As I reach my bike I find that my notebook dropped out of it. I go back up and find it. I am definitely late now and do not even feel like going to the movie. This day has made its point - just stay home and do nothing but letting it end.

Before I bunker myself in the studio room, I go to buy Chocomel. Even the cheap supermarket is closed one should not despair. I find an AH that's opened and even get to serve as "hero of the moment" when I allow a couple of shoppers in front of me to use my AH bonus card to get a discount for some of their products. It was a good timing in a good placing and I was happy my presence fulfilled some effect that helped another soul.

It is not my photos I lost, it is the center of my attention.
It is not the notebook nor the glove, it is me who is lost and need to be found.
It is not the the washing machine that got stuck, it is me who broke down.
My life, at this point, feels forgotten and hidden.
But like the Chocomel sweetening up the mood - I do not despair yet!

I must look at the good things I have
enough money to buy food at the AH
friends who make me feel belonging
cloths to wear so I can be warmed and look decent.
Why is it never enough?

___
Nat helped me as a friend would. She came over at night. We talked about my darkness, we eased it up with 3 joints and have accomplished ordering a sufficiently exciting choice of a laptop from Amazon.de.
We shared beautiful moments and revealed gratitude.
The next morning I had work for a day.
The tide is changing. fresh water will redeem the mind from the weed that grew there unattended.